Terms & Conditions

By purchasing the Ultimate Paper Cookware Bundle, you agree to the following:

• You understand this cookware is made entirely of paper and should not, under any circumstances, touch fire, heat, water, or intense eye contact.

• Payments of $39 will be collected 73 times. That’s right—73 times. It's a lifestyle.

• Delivery may take 4–6 business years, depending on pigeon availability.

• Warranty includes absolutely nothing.

• Satisfaction is not guaranteed, but confusion is.

• All sales are final, and refunds are processed exclusively in Monopoly money.

By clicking “Buy Now,” you agree to these conditions and accept the risks associated with owning 60 pieces of increasingly flammable kitchenware.